Junior Year

I can't believe how long it has been since I have last posted. I am not very good at keeping up with this thing. Well a lot has happened since then.

First off, summer school ended and no real school has started (well now it has far from started, it is in the process of occurring full swing). My classes this semester are not really that great. I like my abnormal psych class but it is just soooooo long. 2.5 hours on a Wednesday night. Good thing it is interesting because I don't think I would make it otherwise. Physics is just as bad as I thought, my mind just doesn't work or comprehend in that way. I guess I will just need to put a lot more effort into it. I love my relaxation techniques class because it gives me a chance to really relax instead of sleep or go on facebook. I have actually learned a good about from the class, surprisingly enough from a gym class. My spanish class is insane, especially since my spanish teacher is on a high opiate pain reliever that makes her act really weird. Overall, not too terrible of a class as long as I keep up with the readings, which so far so good. Lastly, language culture and communication is a semi interesting class but a little to far off from my major to actually find it interesting.

Gymnastics is surprisingly going well recently. My foot has gotten semi better, or I am able to tolerate it better, either way I am doing a lot more than I was a month ago. My bars are really coming along. I feel really strong there right now and also feel like I look really good doing them haha. Floor is coming back. I am landing my double fulls upstairs, and just yesterday did my full and a half punch layout on the floor and landed both of them. I flipped vaults last week which were not as bad as I thought they would be. It is nice to know that all of the conditioning I did over the summer was actually very beneficial because I feel strong and in shape and my skills are coming back pretty quickly. It also seems like the coaches are very happy with me right now, which isn't saying much since our team is falling apart one by one.

On that note, it is kind of ridiculous how broken our team is right now and I can't figure out why this is. I mean, usually when I start to break down I have an idea of why and can usually fix it, but it never results in the entire team feeling the same way. I hope it fixes itself, because Jon and I were trying to put together lines ups today and bars was the closest to full and it still wasn't very promising. Oh man, we will just have to see what happens there.

Matt and I are amazing. I love him so much. He is such a good boyfriend for me because he genuinely cares for me and is so good at calming me down and listening to me when I am mad at him or at anything in general. I love laying with him and just hugging as funny as that sounds. This past weekend we spent a lot of time together just doing nothing and being lazy and it was so much fun.

I have this incredible urge to show people how much they mean to me but cannot figure out how to do it without spending a lot of money. It's so weird but I really want to show my parents, boyfriend and close friends that they mean the world to me and without them I would be so lost but I can't do anything but hope that they know it for now until I think of something worth while. Suggestions welcome.

I am a little nervous about my future, what is going to happen with grad school, and where I'm going to live and whatnot. Not that I really need to worry about this right now, but I like to have a semi plan in my head. Ahhh I just want to be settled, which is ridiculous but I like that idea. I think I would like college a lot better if it wasn't for gymnastics unfortunately. I just want to live and do what I want to do and make mistakes and have funny stories. Maybe my 5th year....

Well that's all for now because I have class in 10 mins.

Oh. I turn 21 in 7 days! WAAAAA

Ok that's for real all.

oh wow

I'm assuming it has been a while since I have blogged yet again, but not sure the exact length since I don't really track these things.

Summer school is in full swing and I cannot wait for it to stop all this swinging. I am ready for some fun in the sun (oh what a cliché) However, I am doing fairly well in this class which makes me happy. At least all the work I am dedicated to this is paying off, at least so far. I have 2 more tests and a lab report to go and then freedom.

Another exciting bit of information is that I am deciding to alter my major path. Instead of going with physical therapy I am going to do PA. I am not exactly sure what I want to do in the field of becoming a PA but I know I want to do this more than PT so I am excited about that. I have already met with one PA (ironically the one who was with me during my surgery in June) and she made it sound amazing. Tomorrow I am meeting with this lady Janet who apparently has a list of PA's in the area and can set me up with some shadowing opportunities. I also decided from this that I will be taking a 5th year. I am actually pretty excited about this because it will allow me to be a normal student for a semester and enjoy college. Also it allows me to spread out my classes a little and obtain the much need hours to get into graduate school. I am planning on getting a job somewhere in the hospital so I can get paid and count the hours I am experiencing towards the hours I need. Matt is also planning on taking a 5th year which is nice for us and makes me happy. He is switching his major over to biomedical engineering. He told me that once he graduates, he would move to wherever I go to graduate school. :) I like that. Overall, this entire situation makes me happy because I get one extra year to relax and actually live like a college student before I am neck deep in graduate school.

My foot is so far SLOWLY getting better. It is just so damn stiff that I am having a hard time noticing the progress. It makes me a little worried that it's taking so long but I have to remember that this was the most intense surgery I have ever had. My main concern is the fact that pushing off of it, in a running like manner, is the most painful and difficult thing to do. And unfortunately, it is the most necessary. I guess we shall see. I started basic running yesterday across the floor (so 40ft) but it was pretty pathetic because I was definitely cheating. And when I say cheating I mean I allow my foot to roll to the side to avoid completely stretching it out.

My mom and Jessa's mom came up this past weekend and it was a lot of fun. We went mega shopping which I obviously enjoyed. I got a lot of sophisticated clothing for all of my upcoming shadowing and whatnot. I more and more enjoy spending time with my parents because I don't see them as often as I used to and I realize how good of people they are and good parents. But overall it was a fun visit, my mom was fun to be around and we all went out to dinner at night to this new restaurant in downtown IC.

Speaking of thinking about how I don't see my parents are much as I am used to really gets me thinking about a lot of things. I guess I have been thinking about this stuff for a while but it really freaks me out. The idea of never knowing what is going to happen scares me shitless. Also the idea of my family and friends perhaps never knowing how much I love and cherish them also makes me sad but I don't know how to adequately express my feelings without feeling weird. I want to spend my time with the people that I love the most but it's hard sometimes when school and freaking gymnastics clogging up all of my time. I just can't imagine my life without certain people and I get sad. I know, I know, why am I thinking like this... I just can't help it. I want to experience so many things and while I am experiencing these things I want people to be around to either join me or listen to my stories because as much fun as it is to experience things with people it is almost equally as fun retelling the stories.

Well enough with this melodramatic-ness. Besides all of these things nothing to extra ordinary has happened recently. Maybe the fact that I actually went out 2 times last weekend is worth mentioning because it hasn't happened since I was born... well maybe since the beginning of summer but still. It was quite the long while. But besides that I have nothing more to say. Until next time I suppose.

From Italy to Surgery

Well since the last post a few pretty epic and not so epic things have happened.

The first epic thing was that Matt and I spent 10 days in Italy. It was truly amazing and a very different experience. We definitely got the foreign experience and learned a lot about the people in Italy. Our favorite place was definitely Capri. Our hotel was on a top of a cliff and we overlooked a beautiful view that was always breathtaking. Florence was an unexpected surprise and Positano was beautiful. Rome was probably our least favorite but still amazing. It was expected, everywhere else I had no idea what to expect. We both agreed that we would definitely go back when we were older assuming we are still together.

The other not so epic thing (but ve

ry necessary nonetheless) that happened was I got surgery maybe 5 days after landing back in the US. It was the 4th scheduled date in the l

ast 4 weeks which was annoying because I never had a set day until the last week. But I am glad that I got it over with early because it was more invasive than I imagined and I am just now (1 week later) not feeling extreme amounts of pain and am off painkillers. I am really hoping it works because I am sick and tired of getting surgery every summer, and if I plan on going to Argentina or Spain next year I do not want to be getting sur

gery before that. And speaking of those foreign countries, I need to figure out my trip next summer for study abroad. I suppose I can start working on that at the

end of the summer when I am able to walk more easily.

Since then nothing too crazy has h

appened in my life. I just started summer school and am practicing, well more like conditioning, with the team.

Some Italy Pics (was gonna add more but the uploaded was being annoying)

Chaos to Boredom

So I have had a really hectic semester. Like probably overall the most hectic of all semesters ever in the entire world. Anyway it just ended Wednesday and today is Friday. Since then I have been super bored because I came home early to get my hair chemically straightened and it needs 3 days to settle before washing. I guess it's been nice just doing little things that I want to do here and there. Like for example I laid out for an hour today got a little tan which is necessary since I am so pale. I also want to prevent extreme burning in Italy. Today I get to see Katie and Jill. That will be very fun! Tomorrow I am going pre Italy shopping with my mom and then Sunday is packing day and Andre el gigante is coming over to spend the night. So the rest of my weekend looks pretty exciting... but not college exciting but that's ok. I need to unpack my clothes so I can see them better for the actual packing. haha this post is pretty lame I feel like because I'm pretty much just describing my next few days. Whatever.

I really enjoy my hair straight and shorter. It's so easy to deal with. I can't wait to wash it myself and style it and see how fast it is. I'm nervous it won't be as fast as I think it will so I'll just except it to take pretty long.

I guess that's all for now.

sophomore year is coming to a close

So I have less than a week left of sophomore year and I couldn't be happier. Whoever created the saying sophomore slump knew what they were talking about. Sophomore year for some reason always sucks for me. Not even like this year as a whole was terrible, it was just hard and boring and nothing too exciting. I have a feeling junior year will be better for multiple reasons and I am going to list them now haha

1. we are going to cancun for our first meet

2. I am an upper classman... thank goodness

3. I'll be 21 within 2 months of junior year

4. I am starting off the summer going to Italy and spending time with good friends at home

5. I am FINALLY getting an actually surgery on my toe

Well that is really all I can think of for now, but just writing that makes this next year look better. Oh I forgot one... we most likely will not have 5:30 am wake ups which is a major plus.

Presently I am studying for human physiology... I have 2 finals monday, 1 tuesday and 1 wednesday then I am going home to get my hair straightened! I am going to look different and I couldn't be more excited.

What I really can't wait for is a break from gymnastics. I always feel guilty here when I miss a practice or leave early and it's annoying because I shouldn't feel pressured to workout when season just ended and finals are approaching but they coaches have a way of doing that to me. I know that they want us to be really good next season since we fucked up so badly at big tens and really badly at regionals but I don't think stressing us out in May is going to get it done! I need that mental break from the pressures of practicing before I jump back into the cycle again.

I think the main thing is is that I envy regular students who go out on the weekends and have a good time and meet a lot of people because they are not confined to their athlete circle. I know part of the way to meet new people is to branch out but it's hard when you spend the majority of your time with these girls and guys and are too tired to make an effort to meet others. Hopefully the bars will be helpful in that category.

Matt and I are doing very good. I am excited to go to Italy with him so we can just enjoy each others company outside of a school setting. I feel like taking so many classes together this year strained our relationship a little because he was having problems with the classes and I would do better than him and he would get annoyed at himself for not doing as well and I didn't know what to do to make him feel better. One positive out of that is that I am learning what he needs to stay positive and on task. But anyway, Italy should be fun. The hotels look really nice and I am excited to just explore Rome aside from the few tours we get.

Besides that not much else has been going on besides studying all the time.

Long Time No Post

Wowie. It's been a while since my last post. I suppose this semester was a lot more jam packed than I thought. Season just ended a week ago and not the way any of us had hoped. It kinda sucks that we had to end so terribly because it's like everything we worked for this year went down the drain. All we can do is work harder for next year. Half way done. Thankkkkk goodness.

Matt just left for NCAA's. I hope he does well. He really wants to all-american and I know he can do it as long as he is calm and stops putting so much pressure on himself. I miss him already, which is pathetic. But I have never been without him at my own apartment. My room feels so empty and big and quiet and I don't like it. I keep looking at my bed trying to see what he is doing and then he isn't there. I like always having him around to jump on or hug or just talk to when I want a break from studying. I haven't been alone since November 2009... that's so crazy. I forgot what it is like. I need to find things to reoccupy myself for this week which really shouldn't be hard since I have 2 tests and then the weekend is pretty much here. Waaaaa hopefully it is fun!

Well that's all for now, I really should look over biology before bed.

recently...

Recently I have had this strange feeling. Actually since I have been home for break I have felt sad but in a different way. Not as in a deep swirling hole sad, but a more difference sadness. I feel sad that my life is moving me away from my family, and I never thought I would be one to be sad about that. My parents have stuff to do still don't get me wrong, but I know when I am home they want to spend a lot of time with me and this break I am counting the days I am able to spend with them and I am sad when it isn't the entire break pretty much. They are really good parents and let me do so much and never hold me back and it's really nice. I guess I never really understood that as I do now because I want to repay them for all they have done for me but I don't know how and what I would do. Also, I have been extra critical to my boyfriend lately and sometimes I wish I could be more calm. I mean granted he isn't perfect and could be a little more selfless sometimes, but he is a great guy and I am so lucky to have him. I just am realizing how lucky I am and it saddens me that I could ever really be sad about my life. So, with saying all of this, I just wanted to say that I am happy. I have a great life and even when it isn't perfect, it is still a lot better than at least half of this worlds, so I can't complain.