life

I just got done starring at my computer screen for 10 minutes reminiscing about my life. I started looking at pictures throughout my room and remembering the times associated with them and I started becoming nostalgic. I miss my dog. However wussy and lame he is I miss him. I miss my crazy coach who made me miserable half the time. I miss my childhood where everything was simple and nothing was uncertain, at least nothing that I knew of. One of the things I miss the most are my friends. I love everyone here, my teammates are great, and obviously I love my boyfriend (who I consider my old friend as well), but my old teammates were my sisters. Being an only child I literally considered them my sisters. Katie the most, but the twinkies and Mary Kay as well. I miss walking into the gym and gossiping about life and our weekends and talking behind everyone else's backs because we were the leaders of that gym. We owned it and everyone knew it. I miss that authority and respect. I miss the connection my coach and I had even though it was terribly messed up. I could do and say anything and I knew he would always be my coach and friend and nothing could ever change that. I miss my simple high school life with easy grades and no uncertainties about my future as to if I was going to do well in a class or make it all four years for gymnastics. I constantly worry that I am not going to make it to my senior year. I hate that worry it makes my mind crazy and I wish it would stop. I miss stupid family gatherings that I hated back then but kind of miss now. The ability to be in a room and have so many people wonder about my life and admire my hard work made me so happy and still does. As much as I love it here I love my home just as much however boring it may be.

one more week

So my deathly 2 weeks are half way done. This next week is gonna suck but also not be as bad as I thought because of less practice, my birthday and the fact that I am more prepared than I thought... hopefully. Matt left for the weekend for Kenny's wedding. I can't believe that Kenny is married. It's so weird because he used to work out at my gym when I was little and now he is married and all grown up and wow. Time flies. We had ponseti races this morning which were actually a lot of fun. The kids are so cute and I really enjoy watching them run at the end. It's such an accomplishment. Now pretty much the rest of my weekend includes reading philosophy to get caught up for our midterm this friday. I'm not sure if I can do it but hopefully I preserver.

Ok off to tanning then more reading.

random

Well I have a few moments of free time before I must study for the rest of the night. Things have been pretty hectic lately. Just had 4 recruits come up for official visits and of course I was one of the hosts. It was kinda sucky because I have to much to do these next few weeks and I would have really liked to have used this past weekend to study and relax but that obviously didn't happen. I mean it was a fun weekend just really busy... way more busy than I am used to. Going to a game was cool though. Definitely a change of scenery. But honestly, probably wont be doing that again... paid for it today at practice. I just really need an entire day to do nothing and not feel bad about it. Just lay around watching movies and relaxing. Wow that sounds like such a good thing right now. Probably shouldn't think about it since it isn't going to happen for a long time. Things with Matt are really good. We went out to dinner last night to Los Portales. That was fun and we have been having a good time together recently... not like we don't usually have a good time together... it's just been more fun these past few days. I have another doctor appointment Wednesday to get another cortisone injection... woopie. Hopefully this one works but who knows... it's always a mystery to me these days. Ok well I should get all my shit together before Matt calls.